So...where did that year go?

Are all the years blurring into one? I need to start to keep a diary because as I reflected on the past year I realised some of the things I was fondly reminiscing about as "highlights" actually happened...a-hem...the year before. But then, calendars are such an arbitrary container of lives that I suppose it doesn't matter what my mind considers a highlight from any other time. It's all a merge really, isn't it? A merge of goodtimes-badtimes-hardtimes - of juggling the variables of a complex family life; tackling one thing after another no matter what the date.

I told myself - and anyone else who would listen - that I wanted 2014 to be without crises - to be without a significant disaster. You see, it does seem as though the last three years running have contained a serious event or loss...is that just life? We have had huge grief and loss - my mum in 2011 and my father in law in 2012. And the year just passed almost broke me in two with one of my children struggling with mental health issues - which hardly seems adequate to describe the stress and pain and heartbreak and all the beating ourselves up over what we should have done that the phrase encompasses. So my final words on New Years Eve 2013 were:  I want no more disasters. No more crises. No more middle of the night phone calls or hospital emergencies.

As the sun rose on 2014 there it was - the emergency phone call. The crisis. The hospital. That will teach me to open my big mouth. (All is fine now. Sigh.) 
I had to stop myself from tainting the whole unfurling year of 2014 with a wash of bad blood. I had to stop myself from seeing this as a significant augur of bad times to come for the whole year. Because really - it's a date, isn't it? It's completely man made constraint placed onto the turning of the planet and the ebb and flow of the tides. And in a complicated life there will be pain and stress and heartbreak and self examination and conscience-sifting and regrets and guilt - along with all the love and attachments and achievements and plans.

So. Another year! Another month, another week....it's really just another day. So good day to you all!

So long, 2011!

Hey, 2011. Sit down, we need to talk. We don’t like to complain, but all in all, I think the sister outlaws are really ready to say goodbye to you.

And no, it’s not a case of “it’s not you, it’s us” actually. It’s you. We’re ready to see you off and welcome a new fresh year into our lives, thank you very much. Now, don’t be like that – there’s no room for regrets!  No sulking now 2011. Just listen...

Okay, okay, calm down! Yes, we know you have delivered some success – new products for re-sew-cool including scarf kits and coin purses,a new bag-tag and a new brooch design with the queen stamp. Yes! New stockists too were very welcome! Thanks very much!

And okay, yes, you’re right! The hottie challenge was wonderful to be part of for Lynne and me, engendering a strong sense of community. Yes, I know, we made some special new friends through blogtoberfest too. Oh, 2011, I know you gave us a feature in the Herald Sun Home magazine. Oh and we’re not ungrateful. No not at all!

But let’s get real here, 2011. On a personal level, all three of us sister outlaws, Lynne, Leanne and I, have suffered during our time with you. Lovely kind hearted Lynne offered help to a stranger, only to be the victim of a life threatening attack from that stranger. What can compensate for that? For such a nightmare? For such betrayal and terrible injury? And it’s not even over yet because she still has to navigate through a legal system that is not necessarily a justice system and still has much healing to do. And our steady sister outlaw Leanne? She has suffered too. Her left vocal chord has become paralysed. She has lost her voice! She now struggles with a strain when communicating, all day every day. To lose the sound of your voice? It’s like losing part of who you are. It is a disability now that affects her work, her parenting, her relationships and her social life. And the prospects don’t look that good for it ever to return.  What have you got to say about that, 2011? And yes, I know I harp on about it a bit, but I lost my Mum. My talented, caring, stoic, brave, beautiful Mum.  A grief that hits me every day.

Oh 2011, no excuses, you delivered some hard blows and really, do you blame us if we feel a little bit battered and sore from the 365 days spent with you? Sure, give us your cliches! Tell us what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. Sure! We know that others are suffering more than us! But still, 2011, we won’t be clinging to you as you leave. We’re holding the door open for you now. Out you go. No don’t look back, make room for 2012 please. A year that already offers us an extra day! 366! And a transit of Venus! We’ll be smiling and waving goodbye to you, 2011 and welcoming 2012 with open arms and hearts full of hope. Bring on the New Year, we say! And a Happy New Year to you all!