In fact, on Saturday I was at a loss. Sarah was at her drama group and I was wandering around the centre of town. I had to literally tell myself DON'T PANIC! RELAX!
a) there's no rush
b) You have time and
c) permission - to just wander.
d) stop feeling guilty!
And somehow I fell into the wandering days of my youth in Bendigo and went to some of my old haunts.
I went to the art gallery, the park, my old high school, book shops and the op shops.
I found this wonderfully huge printed silk dress (which I will hopefully transform into an equally wonderfully not so huge printed silk dress)
This fantastic book on zig zag needlework.
It's made me realise how being available to everyone as a mother/wife/sister/friend, necessitates the fencing off of the free, wandering, creative part of your mind. The focus is always (over) half on others; work and duty. And they do seem to be mutually exclusive to some extent. You can dabble in the creative life - still dip your toes in and even wade - but you can't dive in and be submerged or swim off into the horizon. It's a zig zag.
Needless to say, I was completely relieved to get home to the brood and all their demands and the parametres they create on my mind ...and they way they expand my heart..